trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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