escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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