I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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