Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
