If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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