dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
