pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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