I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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