We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
