Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
