He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
