I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
