i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
