I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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