I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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