And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Couch. On fire.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
