saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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