I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
