Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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