To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
