Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
