It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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