The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize