your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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