Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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