Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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