not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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