I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
