the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
