i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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