I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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