He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
