I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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