thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
