what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
