i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
