You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
