Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I checked into jail on foursquare
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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