my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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