My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
