Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
