I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
