I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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