Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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