this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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