1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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