She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
