Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
