Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
