I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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